We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make silly mistakes, and other times we make mistakes we never would’ve expected. It happens to even the best of us at some point. Mistakes are never fun, and living with them can sometimes be unbearable. That said, it’s important that we own our mistakes, apologize to those we may have hurt, forgive ourselves, and move on.
Step One: Own The Mistake
Whatever may have happened, the first step in overcoming a mistake is confronting it and accepting full responsibility for your part. It may be easy to try to deflect blame or project your frustrations onto something (or someone) else. Ever stub your toe or step on a Lego? I bet you wondered to yourself “who the HELL put that there?” Regardless of how the Lego got there, you should’ve been watching where you were going. The pain is certainly uncomfortable, but it can serve as a reminder to keep your eyes out for hazards on the floor.
So the next time you make a mistake, own it. Step up and accept responsibility. Take full ownership of your blunder and accept your part in its occurrence. That’s a mark of a well-adjusted individual. Do not run from blame. Own up to it.
Step Two: Apologize for Mistakes
Your gaffe may have caused someone else pain or frustration. As long as an apology is warranted (you will know deep in your heart if it is), you must apologize to anyone you may have hurt. Your apology may fall on deaf ears. The person may not want to hear it, or they may not forgive you. The key isn’t to apologize in order to get a pardon. The purpose of the apology is to express to someone that you are truly sorry. Whether they forgive you or not is irrelevant.
The apology must be sincere. You must mean it. If you don’t mean it when you say “I’m sorry,” then you need to spend more time reflecting on the situation. Most of the time, if you truly and sincerely apologize to someone for a mistake, they will eventually be able to forgive you. That process isn’t likely to start without an apology.
Step Three: Forgive Yourself
Your mistake may also bring you great sadness. You might feel angry and frustrated at yourself. Perhaps you are left in total disbelief. It’s completely normal to be a little hard on yourself at a time like that. Depending on the mistake, it may take quite some time, but eventually you’ll need to let go and forgive yourself.
This element is key to moving on after a mistake. It’s not always easy feeling like you could’ve done better in a given situation, but give yourself some credit. You’re not perfect. You will never be perfect. You will make mistakes. You must forgive yourself in order to start the healing process. Don’t ruminate or dwell. Think about it for a while, think about what you could’ve done better, learn from it, and forgive yourself.
That is the wonderful thing about a mistake. It is an opportunity for growth and improvement. It may hurt, you may feel bad, and there be lasting damage or consequences. No matter how bad the mistake however, just remember that it will always serve you and others as an opportunity to learn.